Bringing Back the Heat

Vicki sighed and sipped her melting drink, considering what her grandmother would say about this situation. Etiquette dictates that the man should have sat toward the sun, not you she would have cried with a wince. Now Vicki sat with her version of that hereditary wince, wondering why she hadn’t brought sunglasses on a summer walk. The sun’s rays kept her from looking up at Jonah without narrowing her eyes, so she continually averted her gaze. That, of course, was a sign of sorts — not one he picked up on in a good or bad way, but one that brought Vicki to consider the problems in their relationship. Using her straw to mix the remaining whipped cream with the blended drink, she decided to try and break the silence. with a fight.

“We never do anything fun anymore.”

“I’m having fun,” Jonah replied unaffectedly. “It’s a great day, and we’re just hanging out.”

“Sunshine and coffee isn’t enough for me. I’m more exciting than that.” She fussed with her tie for a moment, then risking the glare of the sunlight, looked straight into Jonah’s eyes. “Let’s rob a bank.”

He shrugged. “Okay.”

“Okay? Really? I mean it. We need to do something exciting, so why shouldn’t it be over the top? We’ve seen every movie about it, even Skills like This, and talked for hours about how it really wouldn’t be that hard. We should just get up and do it.”

Jonah, seemingly deciding that he’d actually like to be involved in this conversation instead of just waiting for Vicki to talk herself through and out of it, began to ponder out loud. “I think we need some kind of a plan. Let’s figure it out using the layout of Old Valenche Trust on Fifth.”

Vicki was readily surprised when Jonah followed up his statement by setting out a stack of napkins and, procuring a sharpie from her purse without asking, began sketching the layout. Placing to sugar packets near where the doorway was drawn, she said “First, we walk in.”

“Right,” Jonah replied. “We’ll have to cover our faces. You can use your tie, and I’ll just shave right afterward, so that we won’t be noticed.” He was smirking, but serious in some dream-like way. He wanted this to be true, and so did Vicki. “We’ll rush the security guard in the back —”

“I’ll rush the guard so I’m there when he draws his weapon,” Vicki interrupted. “You have to start doing a booming voice thing. Something about getting on the ground.”

“Should I imply having a gun?”

“Sure, why not? We can just say that we were referring to hot glue when we get arrested. Or that you just said gum.”

“Oh.” Jonah raised his eyebrows toward the sun that burned behind him. “I didn’t realize you were planning on getting caught.”

“Well, it seems like that’s the way of things in the twenty first century. We’re planning it out, so we’ll get caught. You have to improvise from the start if you want to get away with everything.”

“Does that mean we should stop talking about it and just go rob a bank?”

“No. You’d probably get shot anyway.” Vicki’s straw drew in air awkwardly at the bottom of her cup, and she was no longer able to keep up the charade. She burst into laughter.

Jonah joined her, and then added, “So, is that the kind of excitement you’re looking for? We never do anything fun, let’s get you shot and both go to prison, claiming craft supply defense.”

Vicki smiled. “Yes. Kind of. It just feels good to think about it once in a while.”

Jonah felt put off. “You like to think of me getting shot once in a while?”

“No, no,” Vicki consoled. “I just like to think of you and I having the kind of love that would last, even with shackles around our wrists and a bullet in your leg.”

“Oh.” He felt dumbfounded, yet happy. “I love you like crazy, too.” 

Photo Credit: Jackie Z; story originally posted on the tumblr, 08/31/2011.